Wedding Toasts †Topics to Avoid :: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches

Wedding Toasts – Topics to Avoid Don’t Mention Anything About â€Å"Milk† or â€Å"Cows† At the rehearsal dinner, one of the bridesmaids, who had been drinking, gave a toast. It started off just fine, but then she ended it with " thank God, sometimes guys do buy the cow even when they get the milk for free!" Don’t Blasphemy About a year ago, my fiancà © and I attended the wedding of my cousin. She married her college sweetheart, and the bridal party was made up mostly of their college friends. During the toast, the best man decides to talk about when he first knew the groom was going to propose. He says that he and the groom were in New Orleans celebrating Mardi Gras. He was surprised to hear about the upcoming proposal at that time, given that they were surrounded by women taking their tops off to get beads. The conclusion he comes to--and proceeds to tell the whole group of family, friends, and of course the bride's father--is that my cousin "must have better breasts than God." Don’t Comment on the Many Years it took for the Bride to Find a Sucker (Husband) At my wedding a year ago, my father gave a toast that went over like a lead balloon. He said (in paraphrase), "I've seen my daughter grow through the years and have had a few laughs, like the time she fell in the toilet as a small child. She was so mad at me for laughing at her, that I think maybe that's why it took her so long to find a man to marry." (I was 32 when I got married.) Remember, It’s a Wedding Toast, not an Esoteric Diatribe My husband's brother is well known for his selfishness. He was the best man in our wedding and gave the worst toast you could ever imagine. The speech was typed, single-spaced, on 5 pages, front and back. It lasted about 20 minutes and I (the bride) don't recall being mentioned once. The theme of the speech was "I'm losing my brother" and contained gems like "I can't believe he is getting married", "it's going to be so weird" and "we won't be able to hang out anymore". I was not welcomed to the family, not congratulated, not spoken to or looked at. And we get along just fine -- it wasn't intended to be disrespectful.